For some time it was just the two of you. You had all the time, money, and resources in the world to keep your love alive. When you weren’t working, you were spending time experiencing life together. Now, you have children and the dynamics of your relationship have changed. Your spare time is filled with household chores, dirty diapers, midnight feedings, homework, and extracurricular kids activities. You literally have no time to yourself, let alone time to romance your spouse.
Though finding a balance in parenthood and your relationship can be a trying transition, it’s imperative to learn. In order to sustain a healthy marriage and happy home for your family, you must continually work at finding ways to strengthen your bond as a couple. It may require a bit of juggling and even asking for help, but in the end, it’s worth it.
If the love in your relationship has fizzled or you simply wish to maintain a healthy romance, here are some suggestions:
Whether you’ve been together two years or ten, flirting is an intimate part of your relationship. You may have the kids running around the house, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t remind your spouse of just how attracted you are to them. Send a flirty text message, leave a sticky note in his car, heart one of their pictures on social media, or use your body language. Blowing a kiss, winking, a quick peck on the cheek, or hand hold sends the message that you’re still madly in love with your partner.
Vacations are therapeutic for relationships. It gives you uninterrupted time to focus on being a partner in a marriage as opposed to a parent. You may not be able to afford or have the time in your schedules to vacation often, but you should make it a must to take a romantic getaway just the two of you, once a year. Go all out on a luxury vacation. Stay in a five-star hotel with great room service and on-site services like spa treatments. You can relax on a luxury massage table together as the technicians rub your stress and worries away. Eat some of the best cuisines, go shopping, explore during the day and indulge in nightlife once the sun goes down. The time together whether nearby or some far off destination will put the spark back in your relationship.
Prioritize Date Night
Getting out of town once a year is great, but another way to sustain a healthy, loving, relationship as busy parents is to make date night a priority. Choose a day every week where the two of you can get out without the kids to enjoy each other’s company. If you need to ask a relative to watch the children or hire a sitter, don’t be afraid to do so. Penciling the date into your calendar ensures you don’t forget and allow “life” to make romance in your relationship an item that goes on the back burner. Be sure to mix things up too. Go to dinner, the movies, mini golfing, rollerskating, dancing, and more. Even a quiet evening at home can be made into a good time. A nice dinner, some candlelight, a good movie, and the two of you can reconnect.
Talking may not seem like much of a romantic gesture, but it can be. When you become parents, it’s not hard for your children and parenting responsibilities to take over your conversations. Yet, in order to stay connected as a couple, it is important to communicate about things outside of the children. Iron out some time in the mornings or after the children have gone to bed to talk. Talk about each others’ day, your desires, your experiences in the relationship.
Checking in with one another helps you to regularly maintain the romance in your marriage. Knowing that your husband is having a rough work week provides you with the info you could use to create a less stressful environment for him when he comes home. Hearing about your wife’s shopping trip could give you ideas on things to buy her in the future. Ultimately, communicating more often allows you to hear your partner and do more to make them smile.
Relationships are already challenging on their own. When you add to that dynamic the responsibility of parenting children it can take some getting used to. Keeping the romance and spark alive in your relationship does require daily maintenance, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Simple solutions like those described above ensure that you and your partner remain connected and in love.